All… myself…

Why does my heart feel so bad? Why does my soul feel so bad? This is all I have in mind…sometimes I need to be sad so I would not give in to darker and deeper thoughts…….and now I get a little better by listening to MOBY – NATURAL BLUES…..this song is amazing……tell me a story while I listen to this song….tell me you love me, tell me you need me….but you will never tell me that because you do not exist… mental problems are deeper and worse than I let anyone see….so I only have one option…. I turn to God, or an upper being able to tell me or give me a sign that I have a purpose in this life….although if I were to calculate according to Commander Lt. Data he would say that a humans’ purpose in life is to fulfill his needs and to leave a legacy…to perpetuate his kind….Yet in my case I do not have that purpose……………


I’ll just stick to my world, and I will ignore everyone and everything else, and I will block myself from the outside world….  I prefer loneliness as I got to understand that I am not human, I am worse….and I do not deserve the attention of others…. I miss my fluffy dog and I will forever miss him….so… step => AUTISM WORLD HERE I COME!


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