no one

can or ever will understand my being….myself….they say friends and family are everything….well, there is someone else too who matters…that significant other is also important…but just when I thought everything is going awesome… I begin to thread on a terror that overwhelms me…and that terror is my own selfish personality…because I feel like he can never understand how I feel and how I see him…

the thing is…. I do feel something for him…I do feel I want to make him mine forever (for as long as I live) but… the thought that troubles me is that I feel as if I am just a toy in his hands… and it’s not a good feeling…it’s awful…

but then again… I’m used to being alone….one more person out of my life is not going to matter so much…sure I’ll cry my heart out and I’ll kill my brains out…but I’ll live… he knows nothing of my anguish nor my ideas that jump in my head….oh well.. I’m used to this… 





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