New town, new house, new life and a new love!
Everything is new and I have to make the best of it and the only thing that I need to do is to find a new job and to find for him a new job as well! ❤
On the 7th of August 2018 I met a person that tore my walls down in seconds. Actually, I did not meet him until the 4th of February 2019… I only talked with him online and I saw him through videos on messenger..and we spoke on the phone…and it was…MAGIC!
He kinda has a nickname as Mr Illusion but it is kinda nice and he is everything I was expecting him to be and more… I don’t know if he feels the same for me, but since he left his place where he was and work too, that must mean something, right?
The story began on the 7th of August last year: it was all nice and friendly and then it began to become something else…something was starting to bloom within me and I felt more confident and more…feminine (?) While talking with him I realised many things and among those things it was the fact that I can be more than just ..me.. or something along those lines.
He made me see the better version of me and he opened my eyes to many other things…not to mention he broke through the walls that I had built up for so many years because of bad relationships and bad people influencing me badly…
And only today I realised that I feel something more for him… but let me start and continue with the story….
After everything was said and done we started talking about everything and anything…from personal experiences to objective plans and future thoughts…we talked so much and we stayed awake during the night … he was at work and I was just anxious to see him and hear his voice….oh…his voice…he is sooo….adorable… ❤ I don’t even know when he started to lock my heart and make me ache for him and yearn for him…
I don’t think I have ever wanted someone so much as I want him. And I’m not talking sex. NO! I’m talking EVERYTHING and the SEX! I think he is the second person of whom I think of getting married to… or better yet, the FIRST one to actually have the same goals as me and support me emotionally and actually do not try to judge me or change me in any way…
The story goes on and on and on and the conclussion is that at the beginning of 2019 I saw why I am alone and I feel like shit…and I wanted to change that…so I decided to givve myself another shot at something real and (maybe) a chance at happily married (ever after). Do I dare to dream? Yes. Do I dare to lose myself to find myself in him? YES! Do I want to do this until the day I die? FUCK YEAH, I DO! Do I know if he wants the same? (Mmm…no clue…) Yet I think he wants the same thing…
Funny thing is that he is the same in real life as he was on the internet, only MUCH BETTER and he is so tender and gentle and lovable…and ….I’m losing the words to say…I’m forgetting the language in which I am writing… Does this mean something? Mmmaybe… but what could it be?
After I arrived in Coventry I could not fall asleep and I trembled the entire night…mostly because I was excited to see him and to actually meet him in person, face-to-face… I woke up at 4 AM and stayed awake until 6 AM when Starbucks opened and then I took on my clothes and went out to meet him.
I grabbed two cappuccinos and waited for him on the terrace… He came and we talked for hours and hours…then I went to his place…again talking for hours on end. It seemed he like talking or he was just too emotional after meeting me for the first time and seeing me face-to-face. I was a mute.. I was at a loss for words…so I spoke very little… My first impression of him was: he is adorable and he talks TOO MUCH! :)) ( LOL ) I don’t know exactly what his opinion of me was on first sight…but I guess it was a good one (he said he expected me to be as I am and I was much more). After all this, I went home when his time to go to work came around: 5PM.
I continue my journey towards him and I did not let him be in peace and rest as I wanted more and more of him, to see, to hug, to touch and kiss… I just wanted to take my time with him and not rush into things…On Tuesday I paid the rent and everything was said and done deal with the house where we were going to begin our new lives.
Coffee was taken again at his house and it was ok, but on day two we kissed and we hugged and we spoke more about us…Actually he did the speaking (again :)) LOL ) and I stayed there and listened to him and I was marveled at how he managed to stay sane through all of the experiences he had so far…
But I did not tell him that, though it should come as a compliment, because it is! Nobody in their right mind could endure so much pain and loss and so much suffering as he did… People lose their minds over shit stuff and objects that can be easily replaced, but what about people who lose everything they have and everything they are? How should they react and how should they live on after that ? Well, he is an exception and he is MAGICal!
I insisted again on seeing each other and I went to his place and found all the doors unlocked, except for his own room. I knocked once, twice, thrice and in the end he answered and opened the door and I was invited in. I spent the entire day with him…and I did not want to go home during the night.. I wanted to stay with him, even though I knew he would be leaving me alone as he was working at the club all night…it did not matter! I stayed and slept by myself on the bed and later on he came home to take a quick shower, then again to bring me food and the last he came back was at the end of his shift. That morning, the brink of the FOURTH day – 7th – of February was the day when he touched me and gave everything I wanted since the day I laid my eyes on him… It was beyond expectations!
It is the day he moved on and took his life into his own hands and decided to actually form something together. Which means this is the date when he actually came home, to OUR home for the first time! And it was a thrill the journey from there to here (which is actually 30 minutes walk from home to downtown) – but in my mind I think we have flown in 15 minutes… I was tired and excited at the same time! When we had a moment of a quick break I had to catch my breath as I felt my air was being sucked out of my lungs and I felt I was suffocating…but that was not said, I just sat on a bench and caught my breath and then we moved on and reached home.
Home, everyone else was there: the former renters and the mother of one of them. It was a little awkward, as we were tired and we carried all the bags and I wanted nothing else but to reach my room and just take a shower and then sleep! Well, plans do not go exactly as you think them up in your head and we had to eat then I took a shower and then I went to my room…only to find him asleep… I told him to go and take a shower..but he was dead beat, so I left him in peace about the shower. I dried my hair and put on my clothes and then he took me in his arms…and hugged me and kissed me …and suddenly I felt him… hard… (well, it is to be expected – he is young, after all!) LOL! So, I took care of it and then went to sleep.
Day ONE in the new house:
we stayed indoors and mostly slept, except for in the morning when we woke up at 4 AM and took our coffees and small breakfast. Then I sent him to shop around something to have to cook for the following days… He took everything listed and then we ended up cuddling on the bed and playing on our phones the game he has installed – Clash Kings – and then we fell asleep… then the fucking alarm went off! I tried to wake him up and make him stop the damn thing or I would break his damn phone! He did not want to listen to me and became upset and he turned his back to me and went on to sleep. I let him be, not saying another word, just turning on my side of the bed and trying to fall asleep… I dozed off a little but I could not rest very well as I felt bad for being upset and angry with him… I don’t know what the hell it is but I cannot stay mad at him for long… in fact… I had no reason to be mad him… but I just felt a little angry… and so I just channeled this anger towards him…but then I realized that it was pointless and useless and meaningless..and I had something else better to do than to just be angry at him.
So, I dialed back on my other sister, and spoke to her a little and asked her advice regarding Valentines and what gift should I give him on that day… she suggested a picture of the two of us in a frame but I am thinking of something more useful…a pillow for example on which he can sleep and I can hug…
I did mention before that only today I realised something IMPORTANT: I DO feel something more for him…but I want things to be real and I want to wait and see what he has to say…and what his move will be…
Until next time… See ya L8ER!